Remembering Grandma and Grandpa B.

There are certain things that remind me of my Grandma and Grandpa B.

The smell of coffee brewing.
Even though they didn't drink it, grandma loved the smell of it, so she would brew a pot of coffee the way I use my scentsy, to fill her home with its aroma. I was always fascinated with her pot of coffee as a girl, I liked watching the coffee chug through the clear part of the lid... it wasn't your typical coffee maker!

Ducks.
I was fortunate enough with the opportunity to be babysat during my early childhood by my grandparents. Their influence on me has been one of the greatest blessings of my life. My grandparents were both retired and therefore, they spent their days with me doing the things that I wanted to do. They would frequently take me to the park to play and to feed the ducks.

Air-dried linens.
My grandma owned a clothes dryer that she hardly (if ever) used. Even when her kids all pitched in to buy her a dryer, she still hung her clothes out to dry. Whenever I put things out to dry (like bed comforters) I think of grandma. I love the sweet smell the fresh air leaves on the bedding, it can't be duplicated.

Clover Club potato chips.
I am positive my grandparents ALWAYS had a bag of Clover Club brand potato chips. The funny part about that is they kept their chips stored in the dishwasher that was also bought for them by their children. They didn't see the need to have a dishwasher and therefore, continued washing the dishes by hand.

7-up.
My grandpa kept loads of 2-liter bottles of this stuff under the counter on the other side of the kitchen. It was the cure to tummy-aches.

Standard-size poodles.
Taffy, I miss you and love you. Thanks for chasing grandpa and me around and around and around the kitchen and living room... circle after circle after circle. I never tired of this as a kid.

Stollen.
I tell myself every year that I am going to learn how to make this german fruit cake. As a child, I looked forward to this every Christmas. Fortunately for me I was the only one who liked it in the family, so I basically got the entire loaf to myself.

And finally, that leads me to the thing that reminded me of them yesterday...

Grandma's sugar cookies.
These aren't your standard sugar cookies. They are the thing that reminds me most of going to their home. Grandma always had her cookie jar full of these cookies. I remember as a child walking into their home and looking to my right at the top of the fridge where the apple cookie jar sat. Grandma would pull that cookie jar down and give me one. I don't even remember ever asking.

I baked those cookies yesterday. I took one bite and my mind was flooded with memories of my childhood. All the smells and sounds of grandma and grandpa; the feeling in their home, their sweet laughter that filled my soul with delight. Their gentle touch, the bear hugs and "this little piggy...". Oh how I loved my grandparents. I had quite a bit of turmoil in my life at home as a little girl, but grandma and grandpa were ALWAYS there... constant and secure. I had stability with them. I miss them dearly. I feel them with me from time to time and I relish in those moments. I take comfort in knowing that though they have passed on from this life I know I will see them again.

How grateful I am for our Savior who made that possible. So a public thank you to my Lord, my Redeemer, my Friend. Your sacrifice was great and I honor you and love you as much as this heart can possibly hold. Thank you for building a way for families to be together forever. What a wondrous blessing and gift. For without family, what is there in life?

And thank you to grandma and grandpa. You have truly been a great gift in my life. I owe much of who I am today because of your love and examples to me. I only hope I can be the kind of grandparent (and parent) that you were!

Hello again

So life has been a bit busy. Blogging is usually the last thing on my mind and therefore, the first thing to get neglected. I just thought I would take a few moments to get my thoughts out there.

Have I ever mentioned that I have the best husband in the world? I look back on my life and I think about how much it improved from the moment I gave him my heart. That's not to say we haven't had difficulties or disagreements, but I think every couple has those. I mean, I honestly think I became a better person when I married Mike. He is tender, loving, compassionate, patient, loyal and caring. I admire him and I am grateful for the example he is to our children. I hope that all my girls marry a man as good as their dad and I hope my boy will grow up to be just like his daddy as well.

He always takes care of me, but when I am pregnant he is particularly compassionate about my physical condition. He rubs my feet, listens to me, hugs me when I cry... he is truly my best friend. He even does those simple, small things like: at night when we are getting ready for bed, Mike has always gotten himself a glass of water and he has ALWAYS filled one for me and placed in on my nightstand. I never asked him to do that. That is just the kind of man he is.

Sometimes I ask myself how in the world I ever got so lucky to have him for my husband. I don't question too much. I just get on my knees and thank my Father in Heaven for sending such an amazing man my way. If you ask me, I got the better end of the deal, but I am not complaining. I do the best I can to be a good wife, but somehow, I feel that I fall short.

Yesterday he thanked me for all I go through to carry our children in my belly and then to deliver them into this world. It warmed my heart.

And to top it all off.... HE IS TOTALLY GORGEOUS!!!

Could I ask for anything more?

Well, that is about it for me. I don't even know if anyone reads my blog, but I just wanted to get the feelings and gratitude I feel toward my hubby out there.

Life is good. My belly is big and round and I love it! Being pregnant in my 30's is definitely more difficult than my 20's, but all in all I am very healthy and I feel great.

Ultrasound

Yesterday we had our ultrasound for the little one in my belly. It was by far, the best ultrasound I have had. The tech was hilarious and personable. She made it a very sweet experience for us.

As I was laying there watching this little one move inside me, I couldn't help but feel such an immense feeling of gratitude and love. Gratitude for having the opportunity to carry life inside me, to feel the baby move and to watch my belly grow from day to day. Love for our baby... love for our Father in Heaven... love for our Savior.

It is always amazing to me at the love I feel toward the life growing inside me. I have never met this person, (in this life anyway) and yet, I love this baby as if he/she were living and breathing outside of my body right this moment. How can that be?

This miracle of life is baffling to me. It is amazing to me that two people come together and create a completely separate individual. And that individual is living off of the nutrients I feed my body. WOW!

Everything looked great in the ultrasound. Baby kept putting his/her thumb into their mouth and kept hiccuping... it was so cute to watch. This is the sixth time I have had a prenatal ultrasound and yet, it was just as exciting and miraculous as the first!

I love looking at all the little body parts that they measure and check. The brain, heart, stomache, spine, hands and feet, etc. It is so awesome to live in a time where I can experience this!

My little protector

You know how sometimes kids say the cutest things?

Yesterday Mike and I were having a "debate". Mind you, this was not a full-on argument, we were simply having a disagreement. Jackson went up to Mike with a very serious look on his face and said (quite firmly), "Daddy, you be nice to my girlfriend!"

Simply put, that ended the debate right then and there because after Jackson said that he stormed out of the room. We both just looked at each other and laughed.

My son is quite protective of me you know. It's good to know someone is looking out for me!

Oh....

I have come to the realization lately that my life is a bit off-balance. I have been feeling I don't know, unfulfilled, dissatisfied. And then I posted my last post, because my eyes were opened to how great my life truly is.

Mike and I were talking and I was expressing some of my frustrations to him about how I felt a bit empty, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I started to read "First Things First". It's a Stephen R. Covey book. As I have been reading this book I realize that I have focusing much of my time on the urgent but not important stuff. I haven't really been making much time for myself. I go to the gym 5 mornings a week and I figured that was plenty of "me" time. But, truthfully, it's not.

I have decided to balance my days a bit better. I am going to dedicate my time to a bit of this and a bit of that instead of focusing all my energy in one or two departments and working my butt off until they are complete. I seem to get some sort of satisfaction off of pushing myself to the point of utter exhaustion... but not really. Honestly, when I do that to myself I feel drained and useless. Then I have nothing left to give to my family.

Please don't misunderstand what I am saying. Working hard is good. What I struggle with is what I choose to work hard on. I seem to focus much of my attention on cooking, cleaning, and keeping up with daily life. I seem to unintentionally put my family on the back burner. I feel terrible saying that, but as I evaluate daily life, I am realizing I am getting lost in all the STUFF. And they aren't bad things, they're just not the BEST things.

I am learning a lot about time management from this book and I am rather enjoying reading it. I have just started it and I know I have much more to learn, but I will begin with the simple things like enjoying my time. Projects may take me a bit longer to do, but in the end I will enjoy the QUALITY of life. I'm not going to get to the end of my life and think, "If only I had kept up with the laundry a bit better." I would rather get to the end of my life with no regrets. I would rather think back to all the beautiful time I spent being with my family and enjoying my role as a mother.

I read a very profound quote from this book the other day that brought it all into perspective for me...

In the words of George Bernard Shaw:

"This is the true joy in life... being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one... being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.... I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thouroughly used up when I die. For the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It's a sort of splendid torch which I've got to hold up for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."

I'm still pondering over that thought.

My Day of Gratitude

Today I feel so very blessed. Every once in a while I step back and take a look at my life. I have the life I have always dreamed of.

I have a marvelous husband who adores me and my children.

I have beautiful little children who amaze me every day and enrich my life.

I have a testimony of the Savior, Jesus Christ.

I have a knowledge of the fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I get to stay home to be here for my children while my husband provides for our family.

Because I get to stay home, I determine how my day will look (i.e. what time I wake up, go to the gym, go shopping, clean my house, etc.)

I also get to go participate in my children's classroom activities and other school activities without fussing over how I will get there due to a work schedule.

There are so many blessings, that it would take me all night to compile them and post them here. I just wanted to take a moment to say that I am grateful. See, sometimes I have a tendency to complain about life, or what is or isn't happening in my life. Sometimes I get a little jealous over so and so's bigger home or fun toys. Sometimes I view life as unfair and difficult. Today I realize it is only as difficult as I make it out to be. I determine how my day will look. No matter what comes my way, I determine how I will react to different situations.

These are all things I already know, but I want to post this for those days that I may not feel so grateful. For those times that I feel guilty BECAUSE I don't feel grateful (after all, I am a Latter-day Saint woman... shouldn't I ALWAYS feel grateful and search for the better part?).

There you have it. Life is good, even when it is hard.

Seriously?

I just want to take a moment to say that people never cease to amaze me. It is wonderful when they do it in an inspiring way; however, I encountered a woman yesterday that left me infuriated by her acts.

We were driving home from a nice vacation yesterday. We were about 45 minutes away from home (after driving for several hours) when my 5-year-old stated that she really needed to use the potty. So I got off at the next exit.

We pulled up to the gas station and decided to fill up at the same time. So I took the girls inside for a potty break while Mike stayed outside with our boy to fill the tank up with gas. I took the girls to the restroom and found that it was occupied. So I told them that we got to wait. They lined up outside the one-toilet bathroom and waited. I looked out the window and noticed a woman pulling up to the pump we were going to use to fill our tank. Mike was busy with the baby and didn't notice her. We had already parked our van there to use the pump, he just hadn't grabbed it yet and it looked like she was going to take it to fill her car first. So I popped my head out to see what was going on. I told the girls I would be right back in. I peeked my head out, and made sure everything was okay. She was just an impatient woman who wanted to pump first (even though she came after us). Mike resolved it and 20 seconds later I went to the back of the store where the restroom was. My children were standing there with frowning faces. My 5-year-old who was crying as we pulled up to the station because she had to go so bad was standing there with her bottom lip quivering.

See, during this time there was a woman who came up to the restroom after us and got in line behind my children to use it. When I popped my head out the door (which was not far from them, mind you) the ladies room became available at which point this barbaric woman side-stepped my kids and blocked them from going into the restroom. She went in before them and used the potty! When I said, "Did that woman go in before you?!" (quite boisterously) Her adult daughter that was with her had the gall to say to me, "She didn't know there was a FORMAL line for the restroom and she couldn't wait!" I took one look at her completely dumbfounded at her response since she, herself was obviously a mother of a young child that was holding her hand. I replied by yelling at her, "Well my 5-year-old can't wait!!!" Then I directed my children to the men's room.

I was completely flabbergasted that a WOMAN who was a mother and a grandmother would be so insensitive and selfish enough to butt in line in front of a little girl with tears in her eyes because she had to use the potty so desperately! It is appauling to me that this woman could not recognize the plight my little one was in. I mean, I have been in situations where I REALLY needed to go and I see a mommy come in with her little ones that REALLY gotta go. Every time I have been in that situation I have let that momma take her children to the bathroom first.

I was so angry that somebody had taken advantage of that situation so easily. I mean, SERIOUSLY... who in their right minds would do that? What I couldn't figure out is if that lady had to go to the bathroom that bad, why didn't she just use the men's room that was literally right next to the ladies room? Both the bathrooms were identical. The only difference were the signs on the door and there were no men in the restroom or waiting to use the restroom. Come on lady, use some common sense and have a heart! Everybody knows that a little girl's bladder is not the same size as an adult's.

All I can say is this... I believe Karma bites you in the butt when you do stuff like that.

Okay, okay

Alright, two posts in one day... I know. But, I am in a much better space now than I was this morning when I posted about my discouragement. Sheesh, I don't know where that attitude came from, but I am much better now. Life is good, all is well. Just having a moment I guess. Life still goes on and I am choosing to have a much better day.

Discouraged

So my sweet husband keeps telling me to be patient. And I know I SHOULD be more patient, but sometimes it's a lot easier to SAY I'll be more patient than it is for me to actually BE more patient.

See, Mike and I felt strongly that it was time for us to put our house up for sale. We prayed about it, we pondered over it, we discussed it together and came to the same conclusion... that it was time for us to move. So we went through all the motions. We repaired all those teeny things around the house. We organized, stored some items, repainted our home, had our countertops refinished, and I spent hours getting the yard in perfect condition, etcetera. All of this took so very many hours, so much work, time and money! So the time came, we put our house up and we have received ONE phone call. Yep, ONE phone call on our home! I keep telling myself not to get discouraged. I mean, what is the worst thing that could happen? We end up staying in a neighborhood I love with a yard that I love and a ward that I love?

The problem is not that I am unhappy with WHERE I live. The problem is we have outgrown this home and deserve a little more wiggle room! I just wonder why it is that we felt so strongly that now was the time to move when people are not interested in our home? It is an adorable place. We have put our heart and souls into this home and brought it to life. I know the market is slow... I just kinda wish we had never had the impression to move, because I prepared myself for it and now I just feel... stuck.

I know I am being a bit negative and extremely impatient. I guess I just want to blow off some steam (you know how that is ladies). My hubby doesn't get that, he just keeps trying to fix the way I feel, bless his heart. I don't want a fix, I just want a sounding board!!!

I am positive I will look back and wonder why I was so impatient! But in the moment, I am feeling frustrated and STUCK! And, well, it's just not a good feeling. So there you have it. I have spent the summer getting this house ready, only to find that people aren't interested (that's how I feel anyway). I will get over it, I know I will. I am just riding my pity train right now is all. I really should get off at the next stop, because it's not a fun ride. And let's be honest... there are much worse things in life than not being able to sell your home!

I just need to breathe.

Terrorizing the Store

Yesterday was one of those days. I made the decision to take the kids shopping with me. After being in the store for about 5 minutes I remembered why I don't take the kids shopping with me. They were all running around, spinning the clothes racks, hiding in the clothes racks, touching EVERYTHING, pulling things down that they wanted... etc., etc., etc. My son even pushed another little boy in the store 3 TIMES! I was mortified. Next time we will definitely use the stroller!

I nearly lost it. I could not believe at how badly they were behaving. I thought I had done a better job at parenting. Looking back, I can see how I could have dealt with the situation better. Has anyone else ever been there though? I mean, I consider myself a pretty reasonable parent. And I also consider my children to be pretty well-behaved (for the most part).

I just know that the store employees were looking at me, wishing I had never set foot in there and were counting the moments until I left the store. I just hope they let us in there again someday!

Such is life!

Goblin Valley

This past weekend we went to Goblin Valley. If you haven't ever been there, I would highly recommend going. Personally, I haven't been there for about 6 years. It is amazingly beautiful. We hiked and played hide and seek. Mike and I sat by the campfire for hours, just the two of us, just talking. I loved looking up in the sky and seeing all the stars. The weather was ideal. It was in the 80's with a slight cool breeze. The sky was soooooooo blue with a few fluffy clouds here and there. And that red rock against the blue skies... what a sight!

I am so blessed. I kept thinking about all the memories we were building as a family. I felt so fortuate to have the opportunity to be there together. It was a vacation much needed!

I can't remember the last time I have laughed so hard. We had great company down there. We went with my folks and some of my extended family.

One night while Mike and I were talking we were thinking over our time spent there so far. As we discussed our stay there, we both came to the conclusion that in the end all that really matters is the ones you love. I know Disneyland is great and all, and I am so excited to take our kids there... however, the memories we made this weekend will last a lifetime. The bonding that occured over this vacation only strengthened our family that much more. There is something about no waiting lines, no time schedule, eating food cooked over an open flame, fresh air, smelling like campfire, and getting nice and dirty. No amusement park on earth could top that experience!

There were no distractions to separate us. We were surrounded by the beauty that God had created for us to enjoy. During one of our hikes, I looked around and thought about all the good that our Heavenly Father had placed and created for us just to simply enjoy. I kept thinking about this idea, "Man is that he might have joy". And my heart swelled with so much gratitude for Heavenly Father. How wonderful He is. He surrounded us with so many wonders that we might simply experience joy. I couldn't help but think that He was smiling down on us as He watched His sons and daughters play and laugh and love each other.

So, I am going to take the time today to enjoy. I hope you take the time today to find the simple joys in life and all the beauty that surrounds us!

Long time...

It's been a while. Does anybody even read my blogs anyway?

Life has been crazy (as always). Some change in my life... much needed and good. I quit working at the hospital. I am officially a stay-at-home mom. I am doing what I know I was born to do. It was a bitter-sweet choice leaving work, but I know it is what is best. And I am loving it! It is wonderful to be here for my children. What freedom I enjoy doing what I want when I want.

I actually have the energy to be the kind of mom I want to be. I know there are some women out there who can work and run a household and keep it all together. And to me, I am baffled as to how they do it. It does not work for me. I figure I have the rest of my life to devote to me. Right now I am going to focus on my little ones (while they are still little)!

The extra income was nice, but I know we will be blessed and I know everything will work out.

I hope I haven't lost all 2 of my followers!

So life is good. Hope all is well with all of my friends out there.

Grateful

I just wanted to post today that I am grateful. I am grateful for the good life I live. I am grateful for my loving husband and my energetic children. I am grateful for my health. I am grateful for the gospel and for my Saviour, even Jesus Christ. I am grateful especially for a loving Father in heaven who loves me more than I can even comprehend. I am grateful for all of you friends out there. I don't know where I would be without you. Thank you for being there for me, through good and bad. I love you all.

There is so much to be grateful for. I just wanted to list the basics. What a beautiful day to be alive!