Honestly... Honesty

So the lesson on Sunday in Relief Society and Priesthood at our ward was on "HONESTY".

As the 13th Article of Faith states, "We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul -- We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things."

Believe me when I tell you, I firmly believe in this and I follow it to the best of my ability. The lesson was inspiring to me.

My husband also had the same lesson being taught with the men in another room. His lesson went much differently than mine due to somebody in the room shifting the conversation to mean that we need to be 100% completely and brutally honest about every single thing that comes out of our mouths.

There was a debate going on between the men and apparantly, one in particular, is convinced that you need to be honest even if the truth hurts. The other in the debate said something about how you can't be honest about everything like that ALL the time, because you could do some emotional damage. Now, between these two men, who do you suppose has a better marriage?

Let me give you an example...

Later that day, we were hanging out at home. I asked Mike if he would like me to make some cookies. He then said, "Sure, but make ANYTHING but chocolate chip." It just so happened that is the type of cookie I had in mind. I asked him why and he began to inform me of the lesson they were taught on being honest and to be honest with me, he is finally telling me after all these years that he DOES NOT like my chocolate chip cookies. The kids and I love those cookies. They are soft and gooey and all yumminess in my opinion (not to toot my own horn or anything). Then I thought, okay, I'll make sugar cookies and then we can do Easter shapes and the kids can decorate them and it will be fun family time. Well, then he went on to tell me that he DOES NOT like my sugar cookies either. I have always prided myself on those cookies in particular because after many years of practice and trying different things, I am able to bake sugar cookies that don't crumble, but that are soft and melt in your mouth (and don't even get me started on the cream cheese frosting). I'm no pastry chef, but they are pretty darn good.

At that point, I decided not to make cookies at all.

The way I figure it is this... cooking meals and cleaning the home and caring for our children is what I do. And I love doing it, but those are the basic things that just get to be done no matter what. Doing things like baking treats are the extras in life. See, we don't need dessert to survive, but it sure does make you feel all warm and fuzzy when you eat something fresh-baked from the oven. So, if you don't like my cookies, then too bad. Smile, and grin and bear it and be grateful, because I did it with love.

My sweet husband was confused after all of this. In his logical way of thinking, he decided it was in our best interest for him to be 100% completely, brutally honest with me. In the end he said he doesn't really MIND eating those cookies, they're just not his preference.

Then he asked me if I ask him if the pants make me look fat and I do look frumpy in them, should he be honest with me or lie through his teeth. I then informed him that if I ever look fat in the jeans, to just lie right to my face, unless I ask him to be HONEST with me (is that confusing enough?).

I know what I look like. It only matters to me what he sees in me. And I know he loves me no matter what. So, what harm is done if he tells me I look beautiful even when I don't look my best?

Now, you can call me childish, or silly, or sensitive if you would like. I just think it's okay to sugar-coat things from time to time, for the sake of not hurting somebody's feelings. How does that saying go? If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.

And that, my friends, is how the cookie crumbles.

I am curious though... how do y'all feel about this subject? Should we ALWAYS be honest about EVERYTHING, even if the truth hurts?

BE HONEST WITH ME!

What a thing to inherit

I remember hearing stories when I was first married to Mike about how his parents would have to tell the babysitters to make sure Mike's mouth was empty before they put him to bed when he was a young boy. The way the stories go is that when he was just a little guy he would walk around with food stored in his cheeks. He wouldn't chew it, he would just store it like a little chipmunk. If his parents didn't make sure his cheeks were emptied before he went to bed he would sleep all night with the food sitting there. I used to picture him with his cute little cheeks filled with food. I always thought those stories were cute, but I did think that his folks might be stretching the truth a bit. Mike never knew what to make of them. He would always say how he wasn't sure they were 100% true.

Here we are now with our own son. Being the little man that he is, he is so much like his father it is uncanny. And after some experiences with him, I am a believer of the stories his parents would share of Mike and his quirky food behavior. See... the other day, for example, I was laying little J down for a nap. After I leaned over and kissed his cheek, then I stroked it and there was a solid mass in there. He had finished his lunch over an hour before I laid him down. And there was his PB & J stored in his cheek. I just shook my head and asked him to go spit his food out and off he went. This isn't the only time this has happened... it has happened several times in the past and I happened again today. I have to keep reminding myself to check his cheeks first!

How funny is that? Isn't it odd that he would pick up that behavior? That wasn't a learned behavior. J has never heard those stories. What a strange thing to inherit from his father. All I can say is this... I certainly hope that along with that he is much like his father in other ways because if he is then the girl who marries him will be as blessed as I am.

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