Miracles

Do you believe in miracles? I do. Now, I may not have seen mountains moved, but it certainly FELT that way this week.

As you know, my baby was transverse in my belly and we went in for a procedure called a version to turn our baby. When we arrived at the hospital the nurse checking us in asked us that if it didn't work were we going to go ahead and do a C-section? You could have knocked me over with a feather at that question because that had never been discussed. As naive as this may sound, I just assumed that we would go in and turn the baby. It never crossed my mind that it doesn't always work. My heart sank for almost a second. And then I remembered the priesthood blessing Mike had given me just a few short weeks ago. One thing specifically mentioned in the blessing was that the Lord knows how much it means to me to have a vaginal delivery. And that I didn't need to worry because He would make sure that was going to happen for me. It was contingent upon my faith and I just needed to trust Him. And I knew... I knew all would be well. I knew He would keep His promise and I let go of that momentary distress and fear.

We were escorted back to our room where they began to do all the prep work. After a couple hours the doctor arrived and pulled out the ultrasound machine. To our surprise he found that the baby had moved his head down! My heart soared! My prayers had been answered, the Lord heard me and kept His word. We were asked if we wanted to go home or go ahead and induce labor. The doctor mentioned that there was a chance that if we went home then our baby might move again, but he might not. We looked at each other and decided to go ahead and induce labor while the baby was cooperating.

They started me around 10:30. Around 2:00 they broke my water, and just before midnight our beautiful baby boy was born! He is healthy and strong and sweet and precious! He is the final addition to our family. We let the girls pick the name for him. It wasn't one that I had in mind, but it works for him and it's a cute one.

Now I close a chapter in my life; the chapter of pregnancy and childbirth. It is sobering to think I will never experience that again. It breaks my heart a little. And if we had the means to have more I wouldn't hesitate. But it is time. It has been confirmed to both of us that we are done. So I am pressing forward with gratitude in my heart that I had the opportunity to carry life inside me, to deliver life into this world, and to now nurture all those precious little ones that have been placed in my care. It is exciting and heart-wrenching all at the same time.

I take comfort in knowing that our family is eternal. One day all of them will grow up, move out and start family's of their own. I don't even want to think about that now! It makes me want to cry!!! The point is... though they will grow and become completely independant of me, they will always be my children, I will always be their mommy. We will be together forever. There is no greater blessing that God could bestow upon us than to give us the opportunity to have eternal life. What a merciful, loving Father in Heaven. I guess He knows a thing or two about the love of a child!

So here's to the next chapter. I am just relishing what time I have with the ones I have now and praying that time may begin to slow down a bit so I can fully take in all there is to enjoy with a newborn baby and small children in tow. Life is beautiful. God is good. I am grateful for this moment and the moment is NOW!

A Transverse Baby

***WARNING*** This is one of those longer entries

I don't know if I have mentioned how this little baby is positioned in my belly. This little one for several weeks had their head up in my right ribs and their bumm down in the left of my hip. Now, that is not an optimal position to have natural childbirth. I have been hoping and praying and pleading with the Lord to allow me to deliver this baby vaginally. Mike gave me a blessing and I was assured in the blessing that the Lord knew how important this was to me and He would make sure it happened that way. So I had envisioned in my mind a nice, natural experience and trusted that this little one would turn and all would be well (this after many sleepless nights and crying uncontrollably while my husband is doing his best to console me at 3:00 a.m.).

We took Hypnobirthing classes and practiced the methods and I felt I had done everything in my power to make it happen. The blessing was contingent upon my faith and my work, so I did exercises, breathing, positive affirmations... you name it, I have done it.

The baby FINALLY turned one week ago today and I was so excited. Then I went in to see my midwife today and she informed me that the baby did, indeed turn, BUT baby managed to get it's head down, and still have it's little body laying across my belly. Baby just went from one bad position to another.

SO... here is what we get to do. We have scheduled to have a procedure done called a version. That is where the doctor manually turns the baby from the outside of my belly. Once the baby is turned then they will immediately break my water and start me on pitocin so baby won't have an opportunity to move back. The main goal is to avoid a C-section and with the position baby is in now, if I went into labor, I would definitely have a C-section.

What have I learned from all of this? I asked several times the purpose for this experience. I know to some of you it doesn't seem such a big deal to have a C-section, but to me it is HUGE! There is something beautiful and magical to me about a baby and a mommy working together to bring new life into this world. I actually love childbirth. I know that sounds crazy, but I do.

So, I opened up the scriptures and found the answers I was looking for. As I was reading Ether (in The Book of Mormon) the Spirit spoke peace and comfort to my soul. I could relate to the brother of Jared when he was asking the Lord what he could do to light the ships. I had been asking the same questions, but about my baby. I felt strongly that I should fast from drinking coke until after the baby is born. I can't really fast from food, and although the coke is caffeine free I love it! I felt it was a sacrifice that would be a bit difficult for me and the Lord would recognize it and know how serious I was about doing my part and showing my faith. I am learning about the power of prayer and fasting. I am learning that God hears me and answers my prayers. And though I probably won't have this experience just the way I had envisioned, I know God will honor His promise to me. I wanted a drug-free experience and well, pitocin isn't exactly natural, but sometimes things don't happen the way I want them to. I have also learned that I get to be patient and trust in the Lord and be flexible. I am not in control of everything, and sometimes I get to just go with the flow; do everything in my power to have a positive outcome and trust!

I am thankful for the scriptures. I am thankful for prayer. I am thankful for Jesus Christ; it is so reassuring to me to know He knows EXACTLY how I feel. He has felt my pain and sorrow. He is my best friend. How grateful I am for the Plan of Happiness and to have a knowledge of the gospel. It is truly wonderful!