I have arrived

Okay, so I have had two spectacular days in a row. I started my new job in Labor and Delivery and I am liking it a ton! It is very different from my other experience as an aide. There is a lot of cleaning and organizing involved (which is right up my alley). From time to time we get to assist with deliveries. I get to weigh the baby and measure it and all that good stuff.

So Tuesday was my first day and then I worked again yesterday. Both days I got to assist with deliveries. It is difficult to describe the experiences I had. I can say this... there were angels there, both times. I could FEEL them there. There was so much excitement and joy. There is an incredible bond that happens so quickly as well. Watching those new little lives enter into this world brought tears to my eyes!

It is such a miracle... it is such a beautiful wonder... to watch those mommies labor so hard and to witness the end result. I feel honored and priveledged to be a part of it. I have so much gratitude in my heart that I have been given this amazing opportunity. I feel that I have arrived... I am doing what I was sent here to do. I know that God gave me the ability to be a part of this work; bringing new life into this world. It only gets me more excited for my future; whether that is a Labor and Delivery nurse, a Midwife, a Doula, or just hanging out here for a while, I feel this is where I am meant to be. WHAT A BLESSING I HAVE BEEN GIVEN!!!

And I am especially grateful that I can be a part of it and only work very minimal hours so I can be home with my children, where I long to be. So I feel I have been given the best of both worlds! God is good.

Labor and Delivery, here I come!

So, I am fulfilling a dream I have had for almost 8 years now. See, when I gave birth to Reagan I decided that I wanted to be the person that got to take care of the babies and the new mommies at the hospital. I received such amazing care that I decided I wanted to pass that along. Besides, who wouldn't want to work with newborn infants?

And now I just got hired to work in Labor and Delivery! The best thing about it is it's not just Labor and Delivery. I will get to work there and also in Maternity and also after a couple months I will be trained to be a scrub tech, so I will get to assist with C-section deliveries. How amazing is that? I am ecstatic and nervous at the same time.

I will miss all the new friends I have made, but I am delighted to make this career change. I am so happy I will be able to be home most of the time again. I will only be working one shift a week, unless I want to pick up more.

And right now, home is where I want to be. One shift a week works for our family. Working 3 12's a week is not working... especially because working one night shift is really like working 2 days. I am exhausted the next day and I can't be the mommy that I know I really am.

Just yesterday Reagan told me that I was lazy. Me... lazy?! I am anything but lazy. I think I could benefit from being a little lazy. I had never seen myself as a lazy person and I was trying to figure out where this was coming from. And then I replied by saying that I was not a lazy person. Then Reagan said it... she said the thing that was like a dagger to the heart. She said, "Well, when you are working you're lazy!" See, she perceives me as uncaring now. But really, I am just exhausted. I have not been showing up for my kids the way I used to and now my oldest resents me for it.

I know my place is with them right now. Even if that means putting off school a few more years. I have all the time in the world. I can always go back to school. But I can NEVER take this time back with my children. So, this new position will be perfect for my family. It was a direct answer of prayer and I am grateful for a loving Father, who is always watching out for me and gives if I ask.