Labor and Delivery, here I come!

So, I am fulfilling a dream I have had for almost 8 years now. See, when I gave birth to Reagan I decided that I wanted to be the person that got to take care of the babies and the new mommies at the hospital. I received such amazing care that I decided I wanted to pass that along. Besides, who wouldn't want to work with newborn infants?

And now I just got hired to work in Labor and Delivery! The best thing about it is it's not just Labor and Delivery. I will get to work there and also in Maternity and also after a couple months I will be trained to be a scrub tech, so I will get to assist with C-section deliveries. How amazing is that? I am ecstatic and nervous at the same time.

I will miss all the new friends I have made, but I am delighted to make this career change. I am so happy I will be able to be home most of the time again. I will only be working one shift a week, unless I want to pick up more.

And right now, home is where I want to be. One shift a week works for our family. Working 3 12's a week is not working... especially because working one night shift is really like working 2 days. I am exhausted the next day and I can't be the mommy that I know I really am.

Just yesterday Reagan told me that I was lazy. Me... lazy?! I am anything but lazy. I think I could benefit from being a little lazy. I had never seen myself as a lazy person and I was trying to figure out where this was coming from. And then I replied by saying that I was not a lazy person. Then Reagan said it... she said the thing that was like a dagger to the heart. She said, "Well, when you are working you're lazy!" See, she perceives me as uncaring now. But really, I am just exhausted. I have not been showing up for my kids the way I used to and now my oldest resents me for it.

I know my place is with them right now. Even if that means putting off school a few more years. I have all the time in the world. I can always go back to school. But I can NEVER take this time back with my children. So, this new position will be perfect for my family. It was a direct answer of prayer and I am grateful for a loving Father, who is always watching out for me and gives if I ask.