Ultrasound

Yesterday we had our ultrasound for the little one in my belly. It was by far, the best ultrasound I have had. The tech was hilarious and personable. She made it a very sweet experience for us.

As I was laying there watching this little one move inside me, I couldn't help but feel such an immense feeling of gratitude and love. Gratitude for having the opportunity to carry life inside me, to feel the baby move and to watch my belly grow from day to day. Love for our baby... love for our Father in Heaven... love for our Savior.

It is always amazing to me at the love I feel toward the life growing inside me. I have never met this person, (in this life anyway) and yet, I love this baby as if he/she were living and breathing outside of my body right this moment. How can that be?

This miracle of life is baffling to me. It is amazing to me that two people come together and create a completely separate individual. And that individual is living off of the nutrients I feed my body. WOW!

Everything looked great in the ultrasound. Baby kept putting his/her thumb into their mouth and kept hiccuping... it was so cute to watch. This is the sixth time I have had a prenatal ultrasound and yet, it was just as exciting and miraculous as the first!

I love looking at all the little body parts that they measure and check. The brain, heart, stomache, spine, hands and feet, etc. It is so awesome to live in a time where I can experience this!

My little protector

You know how sometimes kids say the cutest things?

Yesterday Mike and I were having a "debate". Mind you, this was not a full-on argument, we were simply having a disagreement. Jackson went up to Mike with a very serious look on his face and said (quite firmly), "Daddy, you be nice to my girlfriend!"

Simply put, that ended the debate right then and there because after Jackson said that he stormed out of the room. We both just looked at each other and laughed.

My son is quite protective of me you know. It's good to know someone is looking out for me!

Oh....

I have come to the realization lately that my life is a bit off-balance. I have been feeling I don't know, unfulfilled, dissatisfied. And then I posted my last post, because my eyes were opened to how great my life truly is.

Mike and I were talking and I was expressing some of my frustrations to him about how I felt a bit empty, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I started to read "First Things First". It's a Stephen R. Covey book. As I have been reading this book I realize that I have focusing much of my time on the urgent but not important stuff. I haven't really been making much time for myself. I go to the gym 5 mornings a week and I figured that was plenty of "me" time. But, truthfully, it's not.

I have decided to balance my days a bit better. I am going to dedicate my time to a bit of this and a bit of that instead of focusing all my energy in one or two departments and working my butt off until they are complete. I seem to get some sort of satisfaction off of pushing myself to the point of utter exhaustion... but not really. Honestly, when I do that to myself I feel drained and useless. Then I have nothing left to give to my family.

Please don't misunderstand what I am saying. Working hard is good. What I struggle with is what I choose to work hard on. I seem to focus much of my attention on cooking, cleaning, and keeping up with daily life. I seem to unintentionally put my family on the back burner. I feel terrible saying that, but as I evaluate daily life, I am realizing I am getting lost in all the STUFF. And they aren't bad things, they're just not the BEST things.

I am learning a lot about time management from this book and I am rather enjoying reading it. I have just started it and I know I have much more to learn, but I will begin with the simple things like enjoying my time. Projects may take me a bit longer to do, but in the end I will enjoy the QUALITY of life. I'm not going to get to the end of my life and think, "If only I had kept up with the laundry a bit better." I would rather get to the end of my life with no regrets. I would rather think back to all the beautiful time I spent being with my family and enjoying my role as a mother.

I read a very profound quote from this book the other day that brought it all into perspective for me...

In the words of George Bernard Shaw:

"This is the true joy in life... being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one... being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.... I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thouroughly used up when I die. For the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It's a sort of splendid torch which I've got to hold up for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."

I'm still pondering over that thought.

My Day of Gratitude

Today I feel so very blessed. Every once in a while I step back and take a look at my life. I have the life I have always dreamed of.

I have a marvelous husband who adores me and my children.

I have beautiful little children who amaze me every day and enrich my life.

I have a testimony of the Savior, Jesus Christ.

I have a knowledge of the fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I get to stay home to be here for my children while my husband provides for our family.

Because I get to stay home, I determine how my day will look (i.e. what time I wake up, go to the gym, go shopping, clean my house, etc.)

I also get to go participate in my children's classroom activities and other school activities without fussing over how I will get there due to a work schedule.

There are so many blessings, that it would take me all night to compile them and post them here. I just wanted to take a moment to say that I am grateful. See, sometimes I have a tendency to complain about life, or what is or isn't happening in my life. Sometimes I get a little jealous over so and so's bigger home or fun toys. Sometimes I view life as unfair and difficult. Today I realize it is only as difficult as I make it out to be. I determine how my day will look. No matter what comes my way, I determine how I will react to different situations.

These are all things I already know, but I want to post this for those days that I may not feel so grateful. For those times that I feel guilty BECAUSE I don't feel grateful (after all, I am a Latter-day Saint woman... shouldn't I ALWAYS feel grateful and search for the better part?).

There you have it. Life is good, even when it is hard.

Seriously?

I just want to take a moment to say that people never cease to amaze me. It is wonderful when they do it in an inspiring way; however, I encountered a woman yesterday that left me infuriated by her acts.

We were driving home from a nice vacation yesterday. We were about 45 minutes away from home (after driving for several hours) when my 5-year-old stated that she really needed to use the potty. So I got off at the next exit.

We pulled up to the gas station and decided to fill up at the same time. So I took the girls inside for a potty break while Mike stayed outside with our boy to fill the tank up with gas. I took the girls to the restroom and found that it was occupied. So I told them that we got to wait. They lined up outside the one-toilet bathroom and waited. I looked out the window and noticed a woman pulling up to the pump we were going to use to fill our tank. Mike was busy with the baby and didn't notice her. We had already parked our van there to use the pump, he just hadn't grabbed it yet and it looked like she was going to take it to fill her car first. So I popped my head out to see what was going on. I told the girls I would be right back in. I peeked my head out, and made sure everything was okay. She was just an impatient woman who wanted to pump first (even though she came after us). Mike resolved it and 20 seconds later I went to the back of the store where the restroom was. My children were standing there with frowning faces. My 5-year-old who was crying as we pulled up to the station because she had to go so bad was standing there with her bottom lip quivering.

See, during this time there was a woman who came up to the restroom after us and got in line behind my children to use it. When I popped my head out the door (which was not far from them, mind you) the ladies room became available at which point this barbaric woman side-stepped my kids and blocked them from going into the restroom. She went in before them and used the potty! When I said, "Did that woman go in before you?!" (quite boisterously) Her adult daughter that was with her had the gall to say to me, "She didn't know there was a FORMAL line for the restroom and she couldn't wait!" I took one look at her completely dumbfounded at her response since she, herself was obviously a mother of a young child that was holding her hand. I replied by yelling at her, "Well my 5-year-old can't wait!!!" Then I directed my children to the men's room.

I was completely flabbergasted that a WOMAN who was a mother and a grandmother would be so insensitive and selfish enough to butt in line in front of a little girl with tears in her eyes because she had to use the potty so desperately! It is appauling to me that this woman could not recognize the plight my little one was in. I mean, I have been in situations where I REALLY needed to go and I see a mommy come in with her little ones that REALLY gotta go. Every time I have been in that situation I have let that momma take her children to the bathroom first.

I was so angry that somebody had taken advantage of that situation so easily. I mean, SERIOUSLY... who in their right minds would do that? What I couldn't figure out is if that lady had to go to the bathroom that bad, why didn't she just use the men's room that was literally right next to the ladies room? Both the bathrooms were identical. The only difference were the signs on the door and there were no men in the restroom or waiting to use the restroom. Come on lady, use some common sense and have a heart! Everybody knows that a little girl's bladder is not the same size as an adult's.

All I can say is this... I believe Karma bites you in the butt when you do stuff like that.